Higher Power
Alone, unowned, I loathe
Myself
How could I?
Why can’t I?
Who am I?
How will I?
Withdrawn, gone, I long
My god
Where was he?
How will he?
Why would he?
Can he really?
Tread, trip, I try
Stumbling
He catched me!
More than matched me!
Because he loves me!
Really, wholly!
Notes
This poem came out of the topic of grace. As I make mistakes throughout my life, it’s easy to get lost in my own self, my issues, my imperfections. When I catch a glimpse of grace — godly or otherwise — it can still be hard to grab hold of it as I doubt its reality and whether it’s really there for me.
Grace — or leeway, forgiveness, mercy — is a sweet gift.
I’d also like to try an edit of this without the male-deity language. I think it might feel more applicable to the range of my experiences with grace.